Rachel Goodchild’s Good Advice: Lying Exs and Jealous Friends

Rachel Goodchild’s Good Advice on TV3’s Sunrise this morning was about how to cope with being wrongly accused by exs in custody battles, and what to do when your friends start spending time without you?

How do you deal when your ex makes lies up and you have to go to court over it. Now we’ve been in court for 2 years over access and day to day care.

 

Being wrongly accused is one of the most hurtful, frustrating and anger causing things we can experience. It leaves us feeling powerless, and it often brings up in us feelings of wanting to act out in the way we’ve been accused just because we can no longer see the point.

I strongly strongly believe that the truth always finds its way out- even if it’s not for a very long time.

Sometimes, when everything is out of our control, all we can do is decide that no matter what, we will walk right. And it’s an every day, every hour, and every moment decision.

You still may lose the court case, you still may have everything go wrong- but you’ll have walked with integrity, and been all you can be. It’s not a miracle cure- but I do believe at some stage, if the courts do not rule in your favour, it will be noticed by your children.

We can sink to someone else’s expectations of us, or we can choose to walk a path of living to our own standards of morality and belief. The thing is – the more we live a life that matches up to our integrity, the more people around us are more prepared to stand up and speak in our favour.

Start your day with gratitude, try and focus on small victories, and remind yourself, the truth will one day out itself.

Also, if you’ve got no one to talk to about this- make sure you get support somehow- with one to two people you can trust. Support on your side is crucial to succeeding through all of this.

 

 

 

 

 

I was wondering what you think about jealousy and friendship?

 

I have a friend that I have introduced to other friends (and a cousin) of mine, and now she communicates with these people independently.  Another friend just said to me that I should be pleased that I have great friends that all get along, but I still feel a bit left out.

 

Jealousy is actually about our insecurity in what our worth is as a person. The really annoying thing is the more insecure we feel about our own worth, the more we become less desirable to hang around with- people can sniff out insecurity a mile off, and either avoid you like the plague, or like being around people who are insecure and prey on it – often making you more insecure in the process.

The only way to get on top of it is to invest time and effort into recognising your own worth. There is this awesome moment when you suddenly stop worrying (for the most part) what other people will think, or react when you are just you, and it’s so attractive to others. You don’t feel jealous anymore because you know your friendship is secure no matter what they do in relation to new relationships.

If we hold on to something tightly there is no room either for it to grow, or for us to accept new opportunities. If you’re feeling jealous, try visualising holding that relationship tightly in a clenched fist, then watch it unfold as you open your hand out, and see it grow.