One of the most common complaints I get from women is that kiwi males are missing the mark. That they just don’t pursue enough, aren’t putting enough effort in. To be honest, especially after dating a PILE of men during the research of Eighty Eight Dates, and then dating just because I liked it, I have to agree.
During my own experiences I’ve found that English, American and even Australian men tend to be a little more driven in their dating (though kiwi men are far more likely to try to get you into bed on the first date if they get that far)
I think that kiwi men are still stuck in the “She’ll be right” mentality when it comes to their dating life.But kiwi women have, for the most part, moved on from that mentality in every other area of their life. We have careers, are people in our own right, with active social lives, and while we love men, enjoy their company and love the idea of dating- it’s got to be a special man who’ll pull us away from all of that.
It is not enough to suggest a non specific catch up if you are interested in a girl guys. Us girls use the “I’ll pencil you in” excuse if we aren’t that keen to meet up with someone in a business or a friend context. So if a guy says it to us- that screams at us that really you are not that interested. In fact, we already pretty much assume most guys are not the best at commitment- and will really only ever commit to the girl they just can’t be without. If you’re struggling to commit to the first date, it’s speaking volumes to the girl about what they can expect in the future (as we expect any traits you have now will just become more extreme with time – once the best behaviour has worn off.)
If you’re a guy who keeps on trying the casual approach and finding it is just not getting the results you want…. here is a novel idea: ask a girl on a proper date. If she says no, which is really the worst case scenario, at least you’ve got a firm answer. But stop thinking “she’ll be right” and keeping it ultra casual. Us kiwi girls are pretty much over it. Right girls?