He’s got a girlfriend but he keeps on flirting with me…

… does that mean he’s about to ditch the girl and go for me?

Ok Girls….let’s  be honest – who hasn’t thought this at least once or twice in your life time. And it feels like he likes you- in fact he often goes to great lengths NOT to mention the girlfriend.

I met someone last year who I spent a great deal of time with over more than six months who never quite managed to tell me he had a girlfriend. He wasn’t cheating on her- we never did anything more than hang out- but I still felt pretty silly when I found out he was living with someone. Because there is a certain amount of choice involved with hanging out with someone you know is coupled up but you’ll often let your guard down a little more if you think they are single.

I later discovered he’d done the same to about three of four other women- building close relationships, without mentioning the girlfriend. And i have at least five friends going through a similar thing at the moment- having close, flirty friendships with people who either didn’t mention the girlfriend for ages or  seem to be having girlfriend issues, but never quite making the break.

So is this all some sort of nasty man game? well kind of, but in all fairness, half the time us girls allow it to happen. We are the very best at reading into things that aren’t happening (I have learnt, if you’re not questioning about it, it means the feeling is generally fully reciprocated) and we also are often very flattered at the attention.

the problem is so are they. They have a girlfriend and a security blanket- you are the pep they’ve got as back up in case they need it any time soon. Why give it away having both of you by ditching the girlfriend for you? To be honest I can see it makes sense even if I’ve not enjoyed being the security blanket myself.  

If you are the security blanket, go remove yourself from the situation. He’s certainly not going to (Why would he? He’s got a girlfriend and someone who likes him hanging around)- and all that’s going to happen is you’re going to either get very frustrated or hurt. Neither of which is really a very good end to a flirtation that started off so well.